Gravity and the Laws of Attraction, Somewhat Revised

Here’s a bit of great news: no matter how ugly you are, scientifically speaking, you’re still attractive!

That doesn’t mean that the guy or girl you’ve crushed on for one year, eight months, 37 days, 12 hours and 33 minutes (who’s counting?) is going to jump into bed with you… but it does mean that your feet will always remain planted firmly on the ground. And this is because, to planet Earth, you are attractive.

How romantic!

Sir Isaac Newton’s Universal Law of Gravitation

Sir Isaac Newton

I’m not being clever when I say you’re attractive, even though you could eat an apple through a tennis racquet with those teeth. I am being quite literal! Gravity is the force that holds everything to the surface of the Earth and it’s what makes even the lightest feather float teasingly towards the ground. A force of attraction exists between every single being and object on this planet.

Earth’s force of attraction on you – gravity – is the reason we all don’t float out to Space. In fact, gravity is the whole reason the stars and the planets came together. 

“Gravity is the natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract each other with a force proportional to their masses.”

Sir Isaac Newton refined this definition by adding the fact that this force of attraction was inversely proportional to the distance between the two objects. This makes perfect sense: the further away you are from planet Earth, the lesser it’s gravitational pull on you, which is why astronauts float around in Space and your 600-pound mother-in-law has remained couch-bound since the 90’s.

Is the Force Strong with You?

Darth Vader sexy suit

Is there a way we can calculate how attractive you are? I’m so glad you asked, because the answer is yes! There is a formula we can use to determine the force of attraction between you and that hot guy in accounting. While this formula was developed for more austere means, science can also be fun and whimsical:

Gravitational force equation

F is the force of attraction between m1 and m2, which are two physical bodies (you and hot accounting guy). ‘d’ is the distance between these bodies and G is a gravitational constant (because nothing in physics is ever really simple). The value of G is approximately 0.00000000006674.

So, given this information, we can now calculate the force of attraction between you and your would-be beau. Let’s say that you weigh 70kg and he weighs 80kg. Right now he’s sitting at his desk a few cubicles away, chewing lightly on the back of his pencil like he always does when concentrating, knees folded under his chair, golden brown hair, soft skin…

Sexy business man

Focus!

If you had to draw a diagonal from where you’re sitting right now to his location, he’d probably be about 5 meters away from you and if you keep talking like that you’ll be legally required by a restraining order to make it 200 meters. Now, let’s plug these numbers into Newton’s equation:

F = G x [(70kg x 80 kg)]/(5m)²

F = G x 224 kg/m²

F = 0.00000000006674 x 224 kg/m²

F = 0.0000001914 Newtons

The gravitational pull of his sweet body on yours is 0.0000001914 Newtons.

This may seem like a paltry number compared to the bottomless pit of unrequited love you feel for him, but that’s precisely why we don’t go crashing into each other all the time. Not by accident anyway. We all exert a gravitational pull on each other, but this force is so small you just can’t feel it.

Jupiter’s Tormented Moon

Jupiter and the moon Io

Large objects on the other hand exert a stronger gravitational pull. Earth’s gravity is enough to keep us planted firmly on its surface. But Jupiter, which is a much larger planet – 318 times more massive to be precise – exerts such immense forces of attraction that its nearest moon, Io, is in a constant state of seismic catastrophe. Not only does this poor moon have to travel through Jupiter’s intense radiation field, but its very core is ripped up in continuous cycles of convection caused by Jupiter’s insane gravity. The moon is literally being turned inside out again and again and again.

Have You Thanked Your Gravity Today?

During the formation of the Universe – not the Old Testament version – when there was a veritable sh*tstorm of matter flying about, gravity is what caused the coalescence of the planets, stars and moons. Smaller pieces and fragments of matter would cling to larger pieces and fragments and the resultant balls of matter just got bigger and bigger and bigger until stars and planets were formed. This force of attraction, which is directly proportional to your mass or weight, is quite interesting and responsible for a number of things we take for granted.

Gravity is the reason extreme sports are dangerous. It’s the reason your keys hit the floor in the morning when, with arms loaded, you try to fiddle with that damn stubborn front door lock. The extreme stress it exerts on the core of planets is the reason the centre of, for example, the Earth is molten and it’s what initiates nuclear reactions in the hearts of stars. It’s the reason stars burn; stars being the forges of the heavier elements we are composed of!

Gravity is the reason we enjoy an annual trip around the sun. It’s the reason the oceans have tides. Even galaxies are held together by gravity. You may never have considered this force to be your best friend, especially if you were blessed with double D’s. But we all have a lot to be thankful for! Our very existence and the very order of things as we know it all comes down to gravity.

See what I did there? “Comes down”… Har har.

Spiral galaxy in deep space. Elements of image furnished by NASA

Class Dismissed: Your Take-Home Message

Contrary to what we know about the accepted model of modern day beauty, the heavier you are, the more attractive you are. The next time your chubby kid comes home crying from the taunting of some cruel schoolyard bully, you tell him or her to say:

“According to the 1687 works of Sir Isaac Newton, the Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, my greater mass actually makes me more attractive. Furthermore, my preliminary understanding of the laws of gravitation makes me your intellectual superior and while I can lose weight, you will always be an idiot.”

Boom!

Success baby meme

Scientology – It’s Not the Study of Science

Once upon a time, in the early 1950’s to be more precise, a man named L. Ron Hubbard woke up after a night of intense acid-induced dreams. Through the fog of sleep and remembered cacophony of colour, an idea the shape of a light-bulb/dollar-sign materialised. As a science-fiction writer, Mr Hubbard was no stranger to fabricating alternate realities that were a combination of embellished truth, warped physics and general bullsh*t. So, he set about writing a book using his light-bulb/dollar-sign shaped idea, which went on to become a 1950’s bestseller, because people are mostly stupid and are also dying to believe in something.

L Ron Hubbard dianetics

The book was called “Dianetics” and within its almost 700 pages was the secret to self-improvement… to living a new and better life through a changed mind set; just like every other self-help book that has been written. Ever. Initially, the “field” of Dianetics was about self-improvement, but then it became something larger, far more sinister and profitable. More and more people subscribed to the lifestyle, which was a good thing if it was intended simply to improve the way you lived instead of, like some flesh-eating virus, melting the region of your brain dedicated to logic and rational thought.

But, Mr L. Ron Hubbard wasn’t happy with being a bestselling author. He believed his idea had more traction than simply convincing a few housewives to think positively about being married to layabout apes. He believed his idea’s potential was stratospheric and that it could make him ridiculously rich and ridiculously powerful *insert megalomaniacal laugh*. Many years thereafter, Hubbard was famously overheard uttering the following words…

“If you want to get rich, just create a religion.” – L. Ron Hubbard

L._Ron_Hubbard_in_1950

Image Credit: Los Angeles Times photographic archive, UCLA Library

So he was right. In 1953, the Church of Scientology was officially established in Camden, New Jersey and from there it spread like a pestilence. The worst epidemic the world has seen since the Black Plague and reality television.

The Best Things in Life Aren’t Free

Tom Cruise and Scientology

Jesus Christ wasn’t a millionaire. His parents couldn’t even afford a bed in a state hospital and his old man probably blew his birthday gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh on hookers. Not that I blame the guy… his wife was a virgin after all.

Buddha is famous for living on the bare essentials and even got fat to scare away all the beautiful young girls who were throwing themselves at him. I’m not sure about the Prophet Mohammed, but I wouldn’t trust anyone who’s content to spend eternity with 10,000 virgins. Can you imagine how boring the conversation would be?

The point is, and I shall endeavour to expound upon this later, is that religion shouldn’t be about making someone rich. Religion should be spiritual, not commercial. Today, however, L. Ron Hubbard is obnoxiously wealthy and is influencing people in a way that scaring the shit out of Katy Holmes. He’s also dead, but the legacy continues. So, what started off a self-help system has today become a massive religion that doesn’t seem to make any damn sense at all…

What Is Scientology?

Scientology_Symbol_Logo

Scientology is a belief framework and a way of life. I wasn’t kidding when I said that Mr Hubbard (not related to “Mother” of cupboard fame) was a science fiction writer. And this is evident in the core teachings of scientology, which were, prior to being leaked by a defector of the religion, not openly available to the public and beginner subscribers.

Scientology teaches us that we are immortal beings who have forgotten our true nature. Also there’s something about a malevolent alien called Xenu who, 75 million years ago (dinosaurs were still happily frolicking about the planet), sent billions of people to the Earth. Xenu was an evil dictator and, in true Kim Jong-Un style, condemned these people to death via hydrogen bombs and volcanoes here on planet “Teegeeack” AKA Earth.

Lord Xenu scientology

The souls of these murdered masses have remained on our planet and are, according to scientology scriptures, responsible for causing modern people spiritual harm. The story of what happened is called the Space Opera and if THAT’S not science fiction, I don’t know what is! What’s unbelievable about scientology is that so many people have bought into it. I knew there were hoards of stupid people on the planet, but this many?

Take Us To Your Banker

More than the ridiculous lore behind scientology, there is a way of life supported by certain practices. There are levels of teachings and modules that you need to learn and master. You also need to learn to free your sub-conscious of all past emotional and physical hurts and this is done in a kind of counselling or spiritual rehabilitation called “auditing.”

Just like school, you have to pay to progress from one grade to the next. There are free online courses for beginners, but if you really want to get anywhere, you have to start shelling out the Benjamin Franklins. These payments are cheekily termed “fixed donations” – as if the money you pay is going towards feeding starving orphans. If you become obsessed with scientology, you’d better be the CEO of a company or an A-list celebrity, because it’s going to cost you dearly to infiltrate the upper echelons of this cult, I mean, religion.

The reported cost of reachng the very highest level in scientology lies in the region of $100,000 and $130,000. This may be all right for someone who earns a staggering amount of money, such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta, but I’d sooner sell my kidneys on the black market than pay THAT amount of money to belong to a religion. On principle alone.

Cultfiction scientology

What this all means is that one’s involvement in scientology is governed by one’s paycheck rather than one’s physical, psychological and mental dedication. Scientology may purport to have noble goals, just like any other religion I suppose. But the clear difference is the fact that it seeks to hide its “knowledge” from everyone UNLESS you pay your buy-in fee. This is at stark contrast to the most important philosophies underlying science, the knowledge yielded by which is free and available to all.

Scientology isn’t a religion. It’s a business, amongst other nefarious things…

Operation Snow White

Scientology Operation Snow White

In the 1970’s, the Church of Scientology took it upon itself to eliminate any unsavoury evidence that pointed towards its higher-up members’ involvement in criminal activity. This included L. Ron Hubbard. It did this by illegally infiltrating a number of private organisations and government agencies – including the U.S. Internal Revenue Service (IRS) – in more than 30 countries.

This enormous effort was termed “Operation Snow White” by the Church of Scientology itself and is purportedly the largest infiltration of the United States government to have ever taken place. There were as many as 5,000 undercover agents sneaking around hallways at night, riffling through classified files, tapping telephone lines and stealing and destroying documentary evidence of certain individuals’ iniquitous activities.

When this all went to trial, Mr Hubbard’s wife and second-in-command – Mary Sue Hubbard – pleaded guilty to charges that included burglary of government property and the obstruction of justice. Another 10 upper echelon scientology executives were convicted of an impressive spectrum of crimes.

Top 10 Legitimate Reasons Scientology Should Hitch a Ride on the Porcelain Express:

1. Scientology was fabricated by a science fiction writer. I mean, hello?

2. You have to pay dollar bills to become more devout. If you don’t have enough money, you are doomed to remain in the lower levels. It doesn’t matter how committed or devoted you are to your creed. If you’re poor, you’ll never get anywhere, which is kind of like real life, but religion shouldn’t be that way.

3. The “Space Opera” is the single most ridiculous theory I’ve ever heard explaining how humankind came to be. Forget everything rigorous science has to say. Bring on the evil aliens and thetans! Eat the placenta!

Crazy tom Cruise

4. Scientology only reveals certain teachings to people who have spent tens of thousands of dollars. Only once you breached the loftier echelons of the cult, can you learn about the Space Opera and how everything came to be – or something to that effect. We, the public, aren’t actually supposed to know about Xenu. This information was leaked by defector Steven Fishman, after which it spread like hilarious wildfire across the Internet. I love the Internet.

5. Scientology is legally recognised as a religion in a many countries, including Australia, South Africa, the United States, Sweden, Italy and New Zealand. This means that it’s TAX-EXEMPT. That’s right: janitors and street-sweepers get taxed. Scientology “churches” do not.

6. Scientology is dangerous. If you defect from the religion and threaten to spill the beans, or even if you are a critic of it (oops) you could face severe consequences. Some of these include serious harassment, getting sued, physical and psychological abuse and character assassination. I take solace in the fact that there’s no amount of character assassination they could do to me that tequila doesn’t already on a good night out.

fat girl tequila effects

7. It was invented in less than 60 years ago. At least Christians have dedicated thousands of years to building culture, society, parables and doctrines. At least Christianity has history. Scientology is the new kid on the block and yet people are doggedly committing themselves to it as though it were something REAL.

8.  Members in the upper echelons of scientology are, allegedly, routinely defrauded and their dirty secrets swept under the proverbial rug. *coughoperationsnowwhitecough*

9. Scientology believes that the field of psychiatry is destructive and abusive and must be scrapped. This may be true in certain circumstances, but I’d hate to know what a couple of people I have met in my life would become without their daily dose of lithium.

10.  Scientology markets its teachings and doctrines as fact and sound science. It nurtures ignorance and idiocy and treats natural inquiry as iniquity: as something to be punished.

Suitably horrified? There’s just one more thing…

Operation Freak-Out! Da da da-da da

 Great… now I have that song in my head.

The scandal of scientology

Operation Freak-out was a clandestine plan of the Church of Scientology to silence one of its more avid and eloquently spoken critics, Paulette Cooper. This author and journalist published a rather famous book in 1971 titled “The Scandal of Scientology” – I don’t suppose I need to tell you what it was about. Operation Freak-out was intended to either have Ms Cooper imprisoned or escorted in a straight jacket to a mental asylum!

It was upon reading this latter point that I ceased to be entertained by the ridiculous notion of scientology and actually began to find it quite terrifying and insidious. For a “modern” religion, scientology would seem to promote an extremely backward and dangerous way of thinking. Opposition, challenge and questioning are extremely healthy forces that drive democracy and the enquiring mind. They force us to examine what many take for granted and to gain a more sophisticated understanding of the world, both physically and spiritually. By gagging those who question it, this “religion” is resorting to bullying tactics to silence those who simply aren’t convinced. I’d like to think that they could handle criticism with a little more grace than going all “Lord of the Flies” on yo ass.

How was Operation Freak-out exposed? In 1977, the FBI uncovered documentary evidence of the plan whilst performing an investigation of the Church. This came on the tail of an all-out campaign of harassment against Paulette Cooper. Luckily they were caught in time and an out-of-court settlement was reached… hopefully involving a LOT of money.

Class Dismissed: Your Take-Home Message

Tom cruise jumping on couch Oprah Windfrey

Tom Cruise is obnoxiously wealthy and all the credit in the world to him for it. He’s a fantastic actor, he can run really fast and he looks good without a shirt on, so he’s earned his slice of pie (albeit the size of a small galaxy). Tom Cruise also resides in the top echelons of the scientology hierarchy and this isn’t because he has dedicated decades of his life to planning sermons, providing wayward sheep with guidance, denying himself most worldly pleasures, inappropriately fondling choirboys and whatever else it takes to become a priest nowadays. It’s because he paid for it.

Scientology, or at least the founding principles laid out in the 1950’s bestseller Dianetics, has some truly winning concepts. If applied in the right manner, it’s easy to see how this “religion” can be a very good thing and a very good influence. However, these positives stand stark against the various approaches scientology takes in managing its members and in dealing with its opposition. Also, let’s not forget about the Space Opera.

The only thing that science and scientology share is a similar etymology (word origin) and that is -scio meaning “knowledge”. But where science is the rational pursuit of knowledge, scientology is another creature altogether and apparently a very dangerous one at that.

The Science Of Farts: Yes, It’s a Thing

Plate of baked beansImage Credit: BBC Food Blog: What’s Wrong With Cheap Food?

Prelude to the Rude

It has not so subtly been suggested to me by my friends on several occasions that I write a blog about farts and the science behind it all. My friends’ penchant for toilet humor is just one of the many reasons I love them dearly and so, today, with my return to the blogosphere, I plan to finally render reality from drunken suggestion.

Farts are always funny, sometimes embarrassing and rarely appreciated in confined spaces with poor ventilation. So, why do we fart? What accounts for their embarrassing odor? Why do some announce their exit with great brass band fanfare, while others sneak out the back door quieter than a grounded teenager?

Let’s explore the answer to some of mankind’s greatest questions about our own butts.

 “Sweet Lord, Why…?”


Arielle the little mermaid

… asked the countless women who have woken themselves from a deep slumber with the embarrassing realization that they have accidentally revealed to their bedfellow their most preciously guarded secret:

That they are indeed human.

Why must your butt sabotage your attempts to appear beautiful, perfect and divine in the presence of your lover? Goddesses don’t fart!

The good news is EVERYONE farts. Girls fart. We know for a fact that boys fart. All humans fart and animals do, too. It is a perfectly normal biological process that is caused by the generation of gases in your belly, which need to go somewhere or else you’d blow up like a balloon and die. As morose as that sounds, it’s utterly true.

What’s in a Fart?

Boobie bird lifting foot

Image Credit: http://www.wildlifeadventures.com

First of all, “flatus” is the more polite and sterile term, so henceforth we shall be referring to wanton winds as such, since that is what flatus literally means in Latin: “a breaking or blowing of wind.” Flatus is composed of all kinds of interesting things, the precise chemistry of which varies from person to person and from hour to hour, depending on a gruesome suite of factors.

We ingest quite a bit of air when we eat, so that’s one source of flatus. Then there’s the fact that everyone’s bowel is host to legions of bacteria, which help to break down the foods we eat. One of the by-products produced by this intestinal flora is gas and this accumulates in our gut until it gets expelled. This particular source of flatus is quite a bit more “tropical” in bouquet than that caused by the ingestion of air (for obvious reasons).

Now, the chemical composition of this wind depends on the individual’s very unique biochemistry and whether or not their bowels are healthy. Diet and your body’s tolerance for the foods you eat play another major role in the chemistry of your flatus: certain foods may produce a more corpulent sulphurous bouquet, while others might make your pants smell like a horse stable after a long, dank winter.

What all flatus has in common is that 99% of its volume is composed of the following constituents:

  • 20 to 90% Nitrogen
  • 0 to 50% Hydrogen
  • 10 to 30% Carbon dioxide
  • 0 to 10% Oxygen, and
  • 0 to 10% Methane

Given this chemical composition, we can explain one commonly observed fact and another commonly joked-about reality concerning the very future of life on Earth:

  1. Hydrogen and methane are highly flammable gases, which is why you can light your farts on fire. But, did you know that only some people have the specific types of bacteria necessary to produce methane? You will find examples of these humans on YouTube publicly wrecking their sex appeal.
  2. Carbon dioxide and methane are greenhouse gases, which means they have the tendency to absorb solar radiation, thereby contributing to the warming of the Earth’s atmosphere. Given their fibrous diets, cows and other livestock fart (and burp) a LOT and this has been postulated to contribute to climate change. The threat of impending doom has never had a funnier back-story.

Fart Bouquet

funny fart picture

So, now we know that flatus is mostly caused by ingesting air and by bacterial fermentation in our guts. The next question humankind has asked of itself since the very first hominid got kicked out the cave by dropping a vile dart is: why do some farts stink?

Since the main constituents mentioned above (hydrogen, carbon dioxide and nitrogen, etc.) don’t smell of anything on their own, the hot, moist odor of flatus is really determined by trace gasses and chemicals that only make up 1% of the flatus’ volume! And these are produced by bacterial fermentation and digestion in the gastrointestinal tract. It’s through these processes that your body is able to conjure up some pretty exotic chemicals that can taint your flatus, thereby enabling you to torture your poor girlfriend with an age old tradition called a “Dutch Oven.”

funny fart poster

Some of the chemicals that contribute to the malodor of flatus include indole and skatole, which are produced through the digestion of meat. This explains why carnivorous animals produce such insidious flatus, while the posterior emissions of cows, hippies other herbivores are far more tolerable (in theory).

Volatile sulfurous compounds, such as methanethiol, dimethyl sulfide and hydrogen sulfide, are produced by intestinal bacteria as waste products and they also play a major role in the bouquet of your flatus. The latter of these three accounts for that “rotten egg” smell.

Finally – and for this one you may want to put down that sandwich you’re eating – poop. Yes, poop. If you have a bullet in the chamber, or so to speak, your flatus may exit your body amidst a cloud of poop molecules, causing everyone nearby to flee from the room amidst a fanfare of disgusted wrist-flapping.

Orchestral Score

brass band funny fart

The final question we ask in this heroic endeavor to understand the one bodily function that has the rare ability to make everyone laugh, regardless of age, gender and creed, is this: why are some farts noisy?

This has everything to do with the physics of a flatus’ escape from your derriere and not its composition. Since there is no way I can bring myself to answer this question in an inoffensive way, I’ll leave you with a quote from the Beach Boys:

“Good, good, GOOD, good vibrations!”

Class Dismissed: Your Take-Home Message

Nicki Minaj anaconda

If you ever felt embarrassed by the odd fart, just imagine the eternally crippling life struggles faced by a flatologist. Yes, the study of farts “flatology” is an official field. I mean, how on God’s sweet Earth do you explain to new acquaintances, dates and (if you even get that far) in-laws what you do for a living?

We can’t help it: farts are funny and even though I consider my sense of humor to be fairly evolved, my not-so inner child will always laugh out loud at them. For instance, I’ve spent the majority of my time writing this blog in utter hysterics. Having said this, farts are also interesting and a fairly accurate indicator of our diet and intestinal health. So remember, to fart is human and to forgive the guy who just did it in an elevator, divine. Not that I’d know anything about it in practice…

I’m a lady and everyone knows ladies don’t fart.

 

 

Hot Damn, Your Weekend Reading!

Easter fail awkward

If the prospect of a long weekend with the extended family (including dodgy uncles and nattering aunts) sends your brain spiralling into shut-down, better take this reading list with you! Our combination of scintillating videos, laugh-out-loud science jokes and thought-provoking blogs will keep your mind sharp and ready to metabolise your father’s verbal diarrhoea.

Here’s what you can look forward to…

Science Blog Roll

The Placebo Effect: Learn about this fascinating phenomenon as it influences our physical well-being in the total absence of any legitimate treatment.

Ode to Wine: Wine, glorious wine! In this funny science blog, we explore the chemistry and alchemy that goes into the making of our favourite social lubricant.

All Things Bright and Beautiful, Evolution Made Them All: Need I say more? Evolution is the mechanism by which life on Earth is able to change, adapt and diversify.

 Amazing/Interesting/Fascinating Science Videos

baffled boxer dog picture

Epic Rap Battles of History # 4: Technology giants Bill Gates and Steve Jobs go rhyme-to-rhyme in this amazing science video taken from the hilarious Epic Rap Battles of History.

 

The 10 Most Unreal Places on Earth: Take a journey through Earth’s 10 most surreal landscapes and unreal places, from a pink lake in Australia to the mammoth crystal caverns of Mexico. The is a MUST-SEE.

TED Talks with Adam Savage: One half of the genius behind Discovery’s “Mythbusters” spends a few minutes explaining how some of history’s most profound discoveries were made with just a spoonful of rationality, for example, the circumference of the Earth.

Driving Instructors Get Epically Pranked by Nerd Girl: If you have a thing for nerd girls, hard core female race drivers or watching innocent people get epically pranked, this video is for you! It had me in stitches.

When Earth and Space Collide: A Compilation of Meteor Footage – Need we say more? Actual footage of meteors, meteorites and one hypothetical scenario involving major asteroid impact. You WILL be entertained.

Meteor asteroid picture

50 Orgasms a Day Has Girl on Her Knees in Pain: Meet the sufferers of a rare medical disorder that has them experiencing persistent and powerful sexual arousal and orgasm. What, at first, sounds pretty awesome turns out to be horrifying.

World’s Largest Cave Revealed: Take a journey through the world’s largest and most spectacular cave (Hang Son Doong, Vietnam) on the back of a remote controlled drone.

10 Amazing Photographs That’ll Blow Your Mind: 10 Amazing photographs of Earth and nature that you’ve probably never seen before, from the tongue under the microscope to a massive dust storm from the safety of the ocean. Prepare to “ooh” and “aah!”

Beautiful Black hole

Daily Dose of Funny Science

Funny Science picture

http://www.fusionviralvideo.com/daily-dose-of-funny-science-13/

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HAPPY EASTER WEEKEND!!

Monday Morning Tonic: For the Depressed, Hung Over and Uninspired

Monday’s are crappy for most people. Here to alleviate the crushing depression of being back at your desk or behind the wheel, here’s your weekly Why? Because Science reading material!

nerd-reading-book science

Science Blog Posts

Ebola Virus Apocalypse – It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Sneezes: Discover how the terrifying Ebola virus has claimed thousands of lives as it tears its way across West Africa, blithely ignoring attempts at containment.

The 6 Most Awesome Rock Minerals (For Various Reasons), PART 1: Beautiful diamonds, fluorescing fluorspar and fool’s gold: learn about the wonderful properties of these most amazing rock minerals in this funny science blog.

The 6 Most Awesome Rock Minerals (For Various Reasons), PART 2: We’re back for more! In the second installment, we explore absurd obsidian, bipolar magnetite and opulent opal.

Enlightening: The shocking and fascinating physics behind lightning and thunder explained in a way that even the most devoted of cretins can understand.

Can You Speak Whale? Is there rhyme or reason to whale song? Both, actually! Discover the science of whale song and the difference between the ocean’s mysticeti singers and odontoceti rappers.

Can you speak whale

Amazing (and Funny and Creepy) Science Videos

Dolphins Blowing Extraordinary Bubbles: Toroidal bubbles are the best thing to happen since the movie Finding Nemo. Watch dolphins and whales producing these amazing bubbles for business and pleasure.

10 Ghosts Caught on Camera: Physical evidence of the afterlife? Watch 10 spooky videos of supposedly real ghost footage. Some scenarios may look staged, but others certainly make the hair rise!

Hummingbird Snoring: You’d better believe it. This real video of a tiny hummingbird peeping in its sleep will have grown, burly men squealing like little girls with sheer delight.

TED Talks – Nature’s Grossest Creature a Master of Motion: From the mad mind of a brilliant engineer comes a robot inspired by the incredible motor capabilities of nature’s most horrible little critter: the cockroach.

Lightning in Slow Motion: This spectacular video is not only a visual feast; it also holds the secrets to the precise physics of lightning. If you’re a science nerd like me, you’ll be braingasming all over your computer in five short minutes.

Drunk History – The Invention of Coca Cola: The first half of Drunk History’s explanation of the invention of our favourite soft drink, which is pure alchemy (hence its appearance on a science blog).

Today’s Biology Lesson – A Talking Squirrel: This video is the visual equation of cuteness cubed. The feelings of squish you’ll feel after watching it will increase exponentially with every viewing, so click replay at least three times!

Cute little talking squirrel

Sciencey LOL’s: Funny Science Memes and Pictures

http://www.fusionviralvideo.com/daily-dose-funny-science-13/

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Weekly Science Update

Hello friends, fans, followers, stalkers and hecklers!
I trust your weekend left you suitably slaughtered and that you had ample time on Monday to recover at your desk, much to the boss’ chagrin. Now that your brains have mostly sifted out the tequila, tabacco and other toxins you steeped it in all weekend, it’s time for an update of what’s been going on in the new Why? Because Science!

Please like my new Facebook Page – Fusion Viral Video – and you’ll see our activity all of your Facebook wall like a pervert living next to a colony of nudists. Look out for the science posts!

funny science picture

Blog Posts: Old Favorites and Familiars

Astrology Owes You An ApologyAre the stars more concerned with being catastrophically nuclear than with influencing your love life? This blog exposes astrology’s not-so pink bits.

Notes on Aeronautics and Becoming a Member of the Mile High ClubWant to join the mile high club? Find out how with a superior knowledge of the mechanics of flight and how your airplane manages to stay in the sky.

TsunamiGetting wet was never this intellectual! Find out how tsunamis are formed and why they cause so much trouble for onshore biology.

Sciencey LOL’s: Short and Sweet, Funny Memes

Homer Simpson

Daily Dose of Funny Science: Which post-nookie comment is yours?

Daily Dose of Funny Science: Drop the bass.

Daily Dose of Funny Science: Why does ice float, when most matter in the solid state sinks? Are trapped fish farts to blame?

Amazing Sciencey Videos: “Oohs” and “Aahs” and “Ughs”

gross-face

Amazing Science Video: Sheldon DOES IT AGAIN! For the ultimate retort against astrology-lovers…

Amazing Science Video: Take it Down Sloooooooooow Slow-mo camerawork at its  finest.

Amazing Science Video: Queen and Quantum Mechanics Is string theory right? Is it just fantasy? Brilliant…

That’s all folks! Have a wonderful week!